On Parenting

I have a confession to make, I am judgmental. I look at things people are doing, or read about advice and think, that is wrong. Fortunately, I generally keep my opinions to myself and Jason (who generally agrees with me) but I still feel bad that I think this way. And while I don't necessarily think less of them as people, I do think they are making their lives harder than they need to and I should let them know so they can have a better life doing things "my" way. As you can see, this is no way to think and feel. So I am working on being more accepting of how other people choose to live their lives and raise their children (why is it this always seems to deal with how people raise their children?).

So here are some things that I tell myself to help me remember to be nicer and more accepting:

- Well, if that works for you...: I firmly believe that the children we are sent are the best people for us and us for them. Our ideas and beliefs fit the children we are given. Plus, as their parents, we know our kids better than anyone else. We know what works and what doesn't. Frankly, I'm not in their house and I don't know their kids. It seems like all parents try almost everything they can until they find something that works. I need to respect what they have found through the process of trial and error that is parenting.

- That's not my style: When I was living with my sister, if there was food that her boys didn't like they would say, "that's not my favorite". I have thought about that and it helps me remember that we all have different tastes and just because it's not my favorite doesn't mean it's no one's favorite. The same thing fits with our lives. We all have different styles of parenting and just because it's not my choice, or style, doesn't me it's no one's style.

- I guess there's nothing wrong with that: This one kind of goes with the previous two. Basically, I have to remind myself that barring abuse and neglect, there are very few absolutes with raising children. While things may be more effective or less effective, they are not right and wrong.

- If that doesn't bother you...: I watch some things that parents do and think how much it would drive me crazy. But it's not happening to me and if it doesn't drive them crazy then it's ok.

Several of these things all kind of go together. By reminding myself of these key phrases, I am working on backing off and letting people parent how they want to. I'm not quite where I want to be yet but I'm working on it and like to think I'm getting better.